Sometimes, adults have a little bit of difficulty in communicating their sexual needs or desires. Difficulty in communicating sexual specifics is more common than you might think, and if you are having trouble getting your lover to open up on the subject, then it might be time to skip talking, and take some risks.
Adventure in the Bedroom
Before you set out to start practicing the scientific method on your lover, it is immeasurably important to know how to understand your partner’s non-verbal cues. You are about to step into uncharted territory, and you are going to want to be sure that you don’t take many steps down the wrong path. Know when to continue, when to dwell, and when to retreat. It should go without saying that any time you hear “no” or “stop”, you should do just that immediately, but it never hurts to be reminded.
When you and your other are intimate, take some chances. If they have ever made a passing remark about something, it may be a subtle hint that you should try it. Stay with the moment, but try something a little different. If it takes a while for your lover to respond, they may be deciding for themselves if you are starting down a path they want you to. Be comfortable with making subtle changes until you can tell how they are being received. If something new is welcomed, go for it. Progress slowly at first: until you get a clear indication that something is a good idea. Back off when you get negative signs. Try new things, but always be ready to call off an adventure if it is not welcome.
Adventure outside the Bedroom
Sometimes, a person can be more willing to talk about things in a place where it seems more acceptable. You may be surprised at how much more easily a person can talk about sex by doing something as simple as going to a sex-themed store with them. Some stores have staff that treat their job like any other retailer, and will just talk about things in the shop like a clerk would normally talk about a blouse or a pair of jeans. Even if your shared trip to a sex shop does not bring home anything tangible, you could help to lessen your partner’s embarrassment by joking around with them in a place where sex is just a fact of life, instead of a subject to be avoided. The whole idea is to foster an air of comfort and openness, not to embarrass anyone.